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Understanding me

21 Jan

As people get older we usually begin to define ourselves, as I got older I lost myself thinking I was going in the right direction in life. From knowing what you want and how you want it to losing the voice in your mind that helps you calm your indecisive thoughts running through your head. I literally have him rock bottom with people. I can’t understand the concept of how some people live a daily life because they literally just seek ungodly amounts of attention for what should be nothing. I’ve come to the realization of my life that I need to learn me. People try telling me who I am but they have to realize they can’t predetermine who I am for the lack of my capability of knowing myself. I prefer being one, just me myself, and I. I have a few friends who get me, even my own parents question part of my thoughts and beliefs on life. Little do I know my life could be a dream of the reality of I’m becoming rather than stepping forward in my future. Love to me is a four letter word, a long with life. What’s rather pathetic is how society twists the mind the believe its other people messing with your head when really it’s yourself.


La selfie ;)

31 Jul


The guy to change it all <3

31 Jul

It’s funny how the mind can change your perspective on things, such as relationships. I myself was the one who would talk to a guy for two weeks then ignore his texts and all contact with him. Until the day I met a guy who changed my perspective on the world. It’s been two months of continuos talking, everyday. There was a point to where I had felt it was going nowhere so I had put an end to what we had. He continued to talk to me until he told me he still had feelings for me and wanted to try and make things work. Right there had shown not only was he actually serious that during the week I was hoping to receive a text. He has shown me my talents are more than what I thought they were and that I’m stronger and a much better person than I see when I look in the mirror. The day I first saw him I instantly felt a connection. He has shown me that I can trust him and rely on him, he’s the guy I know that if I need to fall back on him I can and he’ll catch me. He is the guy that opened my heart with a key that was lost. ❤


A blank look can say a lot.

21 Apr



20 Apr

It’s interesting to see how emotion isn’t just the main idea of happy from a smile or sad from a frown. It’s from expressions such as those and body gestures. We all have our way of expressing our emotions. But do we do it enough?
People feel showing some emotions such as sadness is being weak. I sometimes refuse to let myself cry in public. I find it people will believe I am weak. But in all actuality. Showing your emotions doesn’t mean you’re weak, it shows your strong enough to let them show.
I, as well as others still have a hard time grasping that. In the work place, at school, I always seem happy because I have a smile on my face. Sometimes I’m torn on the inside but still continue to not let people know that I’m actually not ok.
Facts prove that if you smile it instantly makes you happier. That is true to a certain degree. How much does it really change your mood? If smiling makes your mood better then why won’t more people do it?
Emotions are a part of a daily life. You can’t escape them. Why hide it? Is it really part of the mind stopping you or do people just not know how to express them self in a way that feels comfortable

People, society, everything

19 Apr

We grow up believing that nothing really matters in life. Our looks, our size, our opportunities. The only thing that matters is who gets to the swing first.
As a child I lived with no worries. Always happy and believed life was so great. Now that I’m older I see life as hell. Life as we once believed was so great is so full of hate and occasional misery.
But why?
The reason why is because so many people have came to believe that in order to be perfect you have to be a size zero, silky hair, and nice clothes. Oh yeah, a nice fancy job added to that. Nobody is perfect. Nobody will be perfect. We are unique and a whole. Why forget the mind we had as a child? I believe we should keep our happy place and keep our walls up for protection. Life your life and stop living someone else’s.